So, those of you who know me knew that it wouldn't take long for me to write some mushy-gushy blog about my husband (yes, I said mushy-gushy...get over it). Anyway...regrouping. My husband is the most amazing person I have ever met. He never ceases to amaze me and he still gives me that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling when he is being completely adorable.
I don't want to run the risk of losing you with stories about his swooning, so I'll just give you one example. We had a date night months ago and decided to try a place we had never been. The hostess explained that we could take a little table in the corner or wait over an hour for a better table. We decided to take the corner table and it was perfectly fine. It was set away from the rest of the patrons, but I didn't mind. I thought it was kind of romantic and secluded. Drew, however, looked a little disappointed. I asked him if he disliked the table and he said, "It's fine. I just wish we were around more people so that I could show you off." (Butterflies, butterflies!)
Well, now he has REALLY outdone himself. My dad was put on dialysis over a year ago. His kidneys were functioning at about 9% at that time. Because of his hours at work, my dad had to do in-home dialysis. So, for over a year, my dad has hooked up to the dialysis machine for 9 hours every single day. He works 12 hour shifts, so you can imagine this has negatively impacted his life in a major way.
Months ago, some of my family decided to test to become a kidney donor for my dad. In case you didn't know...I'm a planner. I plan out everything and I live a very solution-based life. If there is a problem, I try not to dwell on the issue, but instead focus on how to fix it. My plan was to be a perfect match, give my dad a kidney, and move on. Easy as that, right? Well, my plan didn't work. I was kicked out of the running very early. It seems that I have high blood pressure (which is also what caused my father's kidney failure), so I was finished. Without even the prick of a needle, I was out. My plan didn't work and I HATE when my plans do not work.
I didn't ask Drew to test to become a donor. He just took it upon himself because that is how he is. He called and requested the info packet, mailed in his paperwork, set up all of his tests, and even hounded the donor center religiously as he waited for results. I never really thought it through completely because I guess I just thought that he wouldn't be a match. Well, I was wrong. This time I didn't have a plan...but as always, God did!
We found out this week that Drew is a match. It looks like the surgery will take place in late-May or early-June of this year. Needless to say, we are all ecstatic. Drew acts like it is not a big deal at all. I think he truly believes that anyone in this situation would do the same thing. I beg to differ. He astounds me with his love and generosity.
Despite my planning capabilities, I never fully entertained the thought that Drew would be a match and that this was all going to work out so perfectly. Finding out that Drew is a match is bittersweet for me. I am not looking forward to the day when I have to leave my father and my husband in the hands of a surgeon. I have faith that they will be fine and that this is all meant to be at this moment in our lives.
I'm always looking for people to take the planning off my plate. Who is going to plan the next camping trip? Who is going to plan the holidays? Did anyone plan something for an upcoming birthday? But the one person who can REALLY plan is God. For some reason, I refuse to let Him do the planning. Lesson learned: God's plan is always going to be bigger and better than anything I can devise.
My prayer is that I will work harder to trust in His plan and that I will see His work in the little and big details of my life.
As always, thanks for listening!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Let's Put This Into Perspective
So, I have worked very diligently over the past several years to put things into perspective. I've never been very good at perspective. I realized over time that I was complaining about so many things in my life. I would complain when it was time to clean the house. I would complain because of my long commute to work. I would complain about being tired after a long week of work. My goal is to find the blessing in the fact that I have a home and a job and a car when others may not.
I remember when my step-dad was in his final months after a courageous battle with cancer. He was so thankful for everything. He didn't sweat the small stuff. He was happy for every minute of every day. He taught me to put things into perspective. In the grand scheme of things, what REALLY matters?
In my quest to find perfect perpective (say that 10 times fast)...I have found that I have become judgmental of other people's lack of perspective. Here's a doozie for you. I was sitting in the doctor's office a couple of months ago with a woman who was clearly pregnant. I asked her all of the same questions that she probably gets 100 times a day. "Is this your first child?" No, it was her third. "When are you due?" September. "Do you know what you are having?" Yes (she says with a lack of enthusiasm.) So, I just sit there...waiting for her to say something. She doesn't say anything for a minute and then says, "It's a girl," with even less enthusiasm than before. After we talk for a few minutes, she pours out her soul to me. She explains that she already has two girls and that she REEEAAALLLY wanted a boy. She talked about how they were "trying" for a girl. Really? Do people really say things like that? How selfish. It was obvious to me and everyone around (and probably her unborn daughter) that she was clearly disappointed. She has two healthy girls at home and has to complain because she didn't get the little boy she wanted. How arrogant are we as a society that we would tell ANYONE (much less a perfect stranger) that we are disappointed about the gender of a child? If she tells a stranger her feelings, I'm sure her entire family and all of her friends know of her disappointment. It puts a dark cloud over the entire pregnancy. It's one thing to maybe say something to your husband about wanting a particular gender, but to put it out there for the world to see just makes you look ridiculous. When people see her playing with her baby girl, they will always know that she wished the baby was a boy.
Let's put this into perspective, folks. Some people have children who are extremely ill. Some people are carrying unborn children that they can't afford to feed. Some people have countless miscarriages and some people can't have biological children at all. So, I personally don't want to hear if your family isn't the picture of perfection you had in your mind.
I'm DEFINITELY not perfect. When something goes wrong, I still have to remind myself that someone has it worse than me. Here is what I try to do. As corny as it sounds, it seems to work. When something goes wrong, I say, "The worst thing I have going on in my life right now is..." Examples: The worst thing I have going on in my life right now is that I have to go grocery shopping. The worst thing I have going on in my life is that I am exhausted from a busy week. The worst thing I have going on in my life right now is that I am stuck in traffic. I find myself feeling silly for complaining in the first place.
Ok...I'm stepping down off my soapbox now. Thanks for listening.
I remember when my step-dad was in his final months after a courageous battle with cancer. He was so thankful for everything. He didn't sweat the small stuff. He was happy for every minute of every day. He taught me to put things into perspective. In the grand scheme of things, what REALLY matters?
In my quest to find perfect perpective (say that 10 times fast)...I have found that I have become judgmental of other people's lack of perspective. Here's a doozie for you. I was sitting in the doctor's office a couple of months ago with a woman who was clearly pregnant. I asked her all of the same questions that she probably gets 100 times a day. "Is this your first child?" No, it was her third. "When are you due?" September. "Do you know what you are having?" Yes (she says with a lack of enthusiasm.) So, I just sit there...waiting for her to say something. She doesn't say anything for a minute and then says, "It's a girl," with even less enthusiasm than before. After we talk for a few minutes, she pours out her soul to me. She explains that she already has two girls and that she REEEAAALLLY wanted a boy. She talked about how they were "trying" for a girl. Really? Do people really say things like that? How selfish. It was obvious to me and everyone around (and probably her unborn daughter) that she was clearly disappointed. She has two healthy girls at home and has to complain because she didn't get the little boy she wanted. How arrogant are we as a society that we would tell ANYONE (much less a perfect stranger) that we are disappointed about the gender of a child? If she tells a stranger her feelings, I'm sure her entire family and all of her friends know of her disappointment. It puts a dark cloud over the entire pregnancy. It's one thing to maybe say something to your husband about wanting a particular gender, but to put it out there for the world to see just makes you look ridiculous. When people see her playing with her baby girl, they will always know that she wished the baby was a boy.
Let's put this into perspective, folks. Some people have children who are extremely ill. Some people are carrying unborn children that they can't afford to feed. Some people have countless miscarriages and some people can't have biological children at all. So, I personally don't want to hear if your family isn't the picture of perfection you had in your mind.
I'm DEFINITELY not perfect. When something goes wrong, I still have to remind myself that someone has it worse than me. Here is what I try to do. As corny as it sounds, it seems to work. When something goes wrong, I say, "The worst thing I have going on in my life right now is..." Examples: The worst thing I have going on in my life right now is that I have to go grocery shopping. The worst thing I have going on in my life is that I am exhausted from a busy week. The worst thing I have going on in my life right now is that I am stuck in traffic. I find myself feeling silly for complaining in the first place.
Ok...I'm stepping down off my soapbox now. Thanks for listening.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
My Bucket List
I am new to this blogging thing. I have tons of ideas running through my head daily. So, even if nobody ever reads my blogs, I think it will be somewhat therapeutic to write them.
After watching the movie "The Bucket List", I decided to create my own list of things I wanted to do before I kick the proverbial bucket. One of the things I wanted to do was write a novel. I love to read a good book. I get swallowed up in the stories and I find that reading is a great escape from a busy week. So, I recently started writing my first novel. I am approximately 1/3 of the way through the book. (Yes, I googled 'how to write a novel' and found out how many words I should be writing.)
The problem is that it isn't very good. However, I'm finding freedom in the fact that I just don't care if it is good. My goal wasn't to write the next American classic. My goal wasn't to be published by 35. My goal wasn't even to write a good novel. The goal was to simply write a novel before I die, and that I can do. I love the process and I love that I sometimes get the desire to sit and spill my thoughts out on page. For someone who can't paint, play an instrument, or do anything that is seemingly creative...this is my outlet. I hope my friends and family will choose to read it when I am finished.
My boss often quotes Jim Collins, author of Good to Great. She says that "Good is the enemy of great." In other words, we get complacent with a good life and never strive for greatness. Again, I'm not worried about becoming the next big thing on the New York Times Bestseller List. To me, greatness comes while pursuing the goal of living a full and rich life. Greatness is present when we push ourselves to do more than we thought possible. Even if my book is terrible, I will have stepped outside of my comfort zone to open my heart to anyone who will read it. To me, that is working toward greatness.
After watching the movie "The Bucket List", I decided to create my own list of things I wanted to do before I kick the proverbial bucket. One of the things I wanted to do was write a novel. I love to read a good book. I get swallowed up in the stories and I find that reading is a great escape from a busy week. So, I recently started writing my first novel. I am approximately 1/3 of the way through the book. (Yes, I googled 'how to write a novel' and found out how many words I should be writing.)
The problem is that it isn't very good. However, I'm finding freedom in the fact that I just don't care if it is good. My goal wasn't to write the next American classic. My goal wasn't to be published by 35. My goal wasn't even to write a good novel. The goal was to simply write a novel before I die, and that I can do. I love the process and I love that I sometimes get the desire to sit and spill my thoughts out on page. For someone who can't paint, play an instrument, or do anything that is seemingly creative...this is my outlet. I hope my friends and family will choose to read it when I am finished.
My boss often quotes Jim Collins, author of Good to Great. She says that "Good is the enemy of great." In other words, we get complacent with a good life and never strive for greatness. Again, I'm not worried about becoming the next big thing on the New York Times Bestseller List. To me, greatness comes while pursuing the goal of living a full and rich life. Greatness is present when we push ourselves to do more than we thought possible. Even if my book is terrible, I will have stepped outside of my comfort zone to open my heart to anyone who will read it. To me, that is working toward greatness.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)