Wow! What a weekend.

This weekend was AMAZING. I don't even know where to start.

So, Relay for Life just happened to fall on the same night as my school's commencement ceremony (which I am in charge of planning.) I watched my students walk across the stage with such pride as their families cheered feverishly. The event itself went very well and I was so proud of my students. However, a piece of me just wanted to get to Relay. My family and friends work all year for Relay. It broke my heart to miss even a minute. Both events started at the same time, and I knew I was missing some of my favorite parts of Relay. I knew I was missing the opening ceremony, survivor's walk (we had three survivor's on our time), caregiver's walk (which I wanted to take part in myself), and the team walk.

So, as soon as the last student processed out of the graduation, I ran out of the building and dashed to my car. I am sorry to say that I broke several traffic laws as I rushed to Relay. My awesome friend, Jim, met me in the parking lot to park my car for me so that I could join what was left of the opening. I ran down the hill in my dress and heels, threw my bags on the field, kicked off my heels and ran. Although I missed the opening ceremony and survivor's walk, I was proud to join my mom on the caregiver's lap.

I am a perfectionist. I have a Type-A personality and I want everything to go exactly as planned. I live by the motto "No regrets on Relay morning." I never want to watch the sun come up after a night of walking that track, only to think that I could have done more. Let me just say, I do not raise money for the American Cancer Society in order to receive any type of recognition or to receive any award. I raise money for Relay for Life because I wish someone had raised money to find a cure before my step-father passed away. Again, it's not about the recognition. However, when our team was announced as a Gold Level Team and the Top Fundraising Team, I swelled with pride. My pride was not because of the recognition. My pride swelled from a very personal place within me. It came from the rare instance in which this perfectionist allowed herself to truly believe that we did all we could this year.

I am ready to start planning for next year. I won't apologize for becoming annoying with my constant begging for donations. I won't feel bad about pestering my friends and family to join us at our fundraising events throughout the year. I won't have regrets on Relay morning.

I am already a very emotional person. Relay is a very emotional night. I am inspired by the strength of the survivors and I mourn the loss of the those who have lost their battle. Until there is no longer cancer, I will continue begging. We raise money all year, so give what you can when you can. We never know which dollar will fund the research to find a cure.

A very special thanks to everyone who donated to our team's $5000+ in donations. We sincerely appreciate your support.

Now that Relay and graduation are over, I am going to take a little time to just breathe and relax. At church this morning, I was extremely reflective (imagine that). I was thanking God for the wonderful exhaustion that comes from a busy and amazing weekend filled with family, friends, and more love than any one person deserves. I certainly do not deserve even an ounce of what I have been given. I praise God for his goodness and ask that He leads me and our team as we gear up for next year. God bless you all.

Relay for Life

In 2009, the world lost an amazing man. My step-dad lost his battle with cancer and it shook our family to the core. All of my friends and family know that I get pretty passionate at times. My passion for the past two years has been to do everything I can do to make sure that families have the resources they need to battle cancer. I want researchers to have the money they need to continue working on a cure.

My family and close friends participate in Relay for Life. I keep begging people to give to our team and I am sure I am getting on people's nerves. I want everyone to understand how I feel and why I keep asking. I honestly feel desperate to raise money for the American Cancer Society. I want to know that I have done everything I can do...every single year. You can't even imagine how excited I get when I see an email from ACS stating that a donation was made on my behalf. I look at my goal and I look at how much I have earned and I constantly feel like I haven't done enough.

The Relay event is very emotional. It begins with a survivor's walk, proceeds into a ceremony of rememberance for those who have passed, and ends 12 hours later with promise for the next year. I keep getting this vision of 6 am on relay morning. After staying up all night, I know I will be exhausted and emotional. However, I do not want this moment of celebration to turn into regret. Regret that I could have done more. Regret that I didn't spend more time raising money.

Won't you help? Bring a smile to my face as I anxiously await the buzz of my cell phone indicating that a donation was made. Better yet...bring a smile to the face of a sister, uncle, grandpa or friend who gets the opportunity to use the services provided by the American Cancer Society.

Please click here to donate: http://main.acsevents.org/goto/tanyagriffin

Every little bit helps! Thank you in advance.

Giving

My nephew is a thoughtful gift-giver. Each year, he goes to Santa's Workshop at his school and picks out the most thoughtful gifts for everyone in our family. He gets so excited to watch everyone open their gifts.

He is allowed to purchase one gift for each of us (per the rules of Santa's Workshop). I remember how upset he was one year when he saw that the adults had purchased several gifts for one another. He wished he could have purchased several gifts for each of us, as well. He loves the act of giving and the act of choosing the perfect gift to suit that person.

This year, he was so excited to give me my gift. He told everyone to open their gifts first and said, "Aunt Tanya has to open hers last because it is the most perfect." He excitedly watched as I pulled away the paper to reveal a make-up set. He knows that I love my make-up and has me pegged as a girlie-girl.

As we proceeded to the adult gift opening, I realized that each of us had the same enthusiasm as my young nephew. Each of us were more excited to watch others open the gifts we thoughtfully purchased for them than we we were to open our own presents. The is such a sense of happiness and love that comes from the act of giving gifts to others. Maybe we should all carry the spirit of giving that seems to come so naturally at Christmas throughout the entire year.

Waiting, waiting, and more waiting...

I have spent entirely too much time in my life waiting for something. I feel like I'm always saying, "I'll start eating healthier on Monday" or "Once the new year rolls around, I resolve to (insert goal here)" or "When this semester ends, I'll start reading for fun again." I have spent a lot of time waiting for the moment to be right and the circumstances to be perfect.

I didn't make any resolutions with the new year. I started to think...what if I just do the things I know I NEED to do to be a better person? What if I decide each and every day to resolve to be the best I can be? Why do I need to wait until Monday, or next month, or when the semester ends, or once we move, or after vacation? Why not now?

I guess this new philosophy is essentially a resolution. It is a resolution to live life for today...to put my best foot forward each and every day. Will I fall short? Yes. We all do. But, starting TODAY, I am certainly going to try.

December 27th!!

I have been looking back at our calendar for 2010 and I'm exhausted. I really don't think we have had a single day this year where we did absolutely nothing. There is something on the calendar almost every single day. We had lots of wonderful times with our friends and family. We also filled many of our days and nights with work and school commitments. We are in desperate need of some down time.

It concerned me a little as I realized how busy we have been. I decided we needed to schedule a down day. Thankfully we both work in higher education, and we are both off work December 24th-January 2nd. So, we've scheduled a pajama party for December 27th. We are sleeping in, staying in our pajamas all day, watching mindless movies, and ordering pizza. We won't do laundry. We won't dust the house. We won't do homework. We won't do anything. It will be amazing.

So, to December 27th, I say...HURRY UP!

Alone time

Drew and I live a very busy life. We are usually home just long enough to sleep each night. We rarely come straight home after work and we are never around on the weekends. We are thankful to be surrounded by family and friends who want to spend time with us and keep us busy.

Last week, I was able to go to Clearwater Beach, FL for a conference. In order to understand my experience, you must first understand my personality. According to the Myers Briggs Foundation website, extroverts "like getting their energy from active involvement in events and having a lot of different activities. They are excited when they are around people and like to energize other people. They generally feel at home in the world and often understand a problem better when they can talk out loud about it and hear what others have to say." This certainly describes my personality type.

I had a very difficult time the first day/night at the conference. I wanted to talk to people. I wanted to have dinner with others and I wanted to make new friends. Everyone seemed to already know each other and I was left by myself.
Most people would appreciate the opportunity to walk alone on the beach, spend some time alone in a hotel room, and just escape from the world for a while. I, however, felt anxious and nervous about my alone time.

As the week progressed, I began to enjoy the time alone. I realized that we fill our lives with so many activities that we do not take the time to really think, reflect, and pray. After the conference each day, I enjoyed sitting on the beach, listening to the waves roll in as I reflect upon the blessings in my life. I was able to take a deep breath and relax for the first time in a long time.

I'm still not good at alone. However, I believe that even my extroverted self needs to seek out time to really enjoy the blessings of quiet peacefulness. It is in these moments that I can really understand my life, my God, and myself.

Oh, the memories...

This time of year always makes me think of the two little boys we lost in a failed adoption several years ago. They were with us in the late-summer and early-fall. I remember going to Eckert's to pick apples, a trip to Six Flags, and dressing them up for Halloween.

I remember being thankful for the exhaustion that came from going to bed late with Ethan, waking up throughout the night with Evan, and getting up early to take them to day care before work. I loved every minute of it.

I'm not sad right now...just reflective. I think about them all the time. I pray that they are safe, happy, and healthy. I know that God has a plan for them and I know that God has a plan for us.